The plan is to save up a load of money, separate from paying off some loans. This will begin now, I’ll open a savings account and put in $100 a paycheck -assuming I can get a job that pays above minimum wage.
The second plan is to work out, quit smoking altogether, quit drinking coffee, be one with the elements. As cheesy as this sounds, it’s what I will need to do in preparation.
I’m thinking a year after graduation, maybe 2 years, depending on the situation, I will buy a plane ticket to Peru. Yes, that’s right, Peru. I’m going to discover some things about myself, about the world, about humans and the human body while I travel thru the Amazon and to the Andes. I’m going to meet all kinds of people and creatures. I’ll face death multiple times. The travel guide should be safe, but travelling by yourself is never a guaranteed safe travel.
I’ll let go of everything I know; my phone, my books, my friends, my family, past lovers, current hope, a career, an adversary. I’ll live among villagers in the Andes, I’ll see how they sleep and eat and work, what they do to get by. If they feel victimized; or if it should matter. This will be until I meet the planned, appointed and paid visit with the shaman Don Alberto. We will meet at a rocky cliff, a point that looks over an awesome arid climate. We will sit in the dirt among 10-20 other lost individuals from across the world, and listen. A golden halo will sneak its way around his dark, silhouetted figure, as his wondrous towering head of knowledge will block the sun from where I am sitting beneath him. He will speak and I’ll remain silent for hours, only listening. I’ll take the bowl and let the drink ease its way down my throat the way that river bends through the wild fertility of the South American earth.
For a couple of hours, my body will perish in agony as I vomit out everything: my food, my thoughts, my memories, my feeling. I will be pure of thought and self. Then I will wonder why I’m there, why I am here, why I am me and not you. I’ll wonder how I got there, what led me up to the decision and where will I go from there. I will think I’m about to die, or perhaps that I was always dead. Once the thriving pain eases up, the fire in my stomach will slowly die down, I’ll be able to open my eyes again and look out into the world. I will take a long gander into that desert; that long, endless desert.